OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
