so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
