Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
