I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
