your parents love me but you hate me
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
