She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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