I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
