I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
