problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
is that a dick in a sweater?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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