and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Two words: blizzard sex
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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