how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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