I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
