are you so shy because you have an std?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You are the jesus of drinking
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
