Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
