Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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