Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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