Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
