whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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