We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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