Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
