bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
