It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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