Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
