I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
