waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
