Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
this hospital has no fireball
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize