The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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