tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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