We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think my fart just growled at me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
