It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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