Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
