just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
