he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
