I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
