she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
