I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
