So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
