what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
