ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
