Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
