So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
