im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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