I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
