Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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