maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
