and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
