i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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