laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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