He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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