im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
