someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
