oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I skipped work to stalk him.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
