I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
