Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just high enough for therapy.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
