She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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